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They said you shouldnt love someone just for sex
Thought it’s easy, I just need to be myself
But he looked at the mirror
Thought he’d see whats beneath clearer
“Where is your flower?”
He really never loved me ever 

They lied about love
Not a piece a meat
My body’s important 
They lied about romance
Not a one time sh*t
My identity’s not fetish 

They said you should sleep with someone who accepts you
Thought it’s impossible, I had to the believe harder
Checked in on Tinder
He still looked at the mirror
Thought he wanted transgender
Then he never called me again ever

They lied about romance
Not a piece a meat
My body’s important 
They lied about love
Not a one time sh*t

My identity‘s not fetish 

i had to walk away, and i'm sorry

anxiety and depression suck. and it's hard to explain. but I will. on this new personal space.  not for pity or attention or affirmation. i thought it's just time for me to share my mental health especially because last night, I had an argument with a good friend that almost ruined our relationship. because of anxiety. because I fear of people talking shit about me. because I am depressed. and Joey De Leon, depression is not a joke. 

beginning of this year, I had symptoms I cannot explain. 2016 was a very bad year for me personally, but oppositely for my career. as my good friend said, I am so good at hiding, with all my photos in social media, and how I present myself with makeup. well, this world can make you do that.


Noong nakaraang linggo, napanood ko ang pelikulang Sakaling Hindi Makarating. Isa ito sa mga pelikulang uulit-ulitin ko upang maipaalala sa akin ang kahulugan ng paglalakbay. Hindi ako mahihiyang sabihan na nadala ako sa pelikulang ito dahil sa mga bagay na napagmuni-munihan ko: 

TRANScending: Film Review of "Die Beautiful"

TRANS ("beyond", "changing thoroughly"). But here in this country, it is a word so often associated with dishonesty, mistaken identity, and lots of stereotypes.

In the past 3 years, there were several developments in the LGBT community that raised the level of understanding about who transgender women really are beyond stigma and cliche's of being "bakla". We saw car enthusiast Angelina King reveal to her male-dominated followers her truth about being a transwoman with a non-traditional sexual orientation. We cheered for Geraldine Roman as the first transwoman in Congress, and Trixie Maristela and Kevin Balot as they won the crown  in the most prestigious trans beauty pageant in the world, Miss International Queen, where judging is based on criteria set specifically for transgender beauty queens, beyond comedy or impersonations. There's so much stories also about transgenders (men and women alike) and their lives, being featured in shows like Maalaala Mo Kaya, Pinoy Big Brother, etc.

Adore Delano Partyy

Last weekend, I watched Adore Delano, one of the top contestants in the previous season of RuPaul's Drag Race, perform for the first time in Manila. I really adored the past season and it made me really appreciate the show (and encouraged me to watch the rest of the series), and the reality and fantasies behind every drag queen's act which I'd come to realize as art. Combine beauty, talent, character and statement.

Feeling Fiery

"Love is friendship that caught fire."

I am still on a high from the feeling of love which I witnessed last weekend during the wedding of Saab Magalona and Jim Bacarro. Everything was just beautiful, passionate and full of fire. 

Anyway, thanks to my friend, Kylie Marco for the dress that you made and for helping me select the other components like the coat that i wanted to insist on wearing because the color is so pretty! I haven't worn a formal attire for such a long time and I didn't know what to wear but orange and gold were just so bright and full energy. I needed those! ;)


And she danced; she danced with the music and with the rhythm of earths circles; she turned with the earth turning, like a disk, turning all faces to light and to darkness evenly. dancing towards daylight. - Anais Nin

Last weekend, Jim and Saab saved the world. It was love that we breathed and that caused a combination of tears (massive!!) and smiles all at the same time. Seeing Saab and Jim marrying each other, their dreams and fantasies, and letting us see those come to both reality and infinity, was such a genuine and generous act of love.

Thank you and congratulations, Jim and Saab! I have been a fan of your love ever since and I am forever grateful that I got to witness your special day. In times like these, your love is the kind that will really save the world. The kind that will make us all believe that love is really beautiful. Thank you very much!

More photos here.


#BelieveinMagique BTS

Yesterday, L'Oreal Makeup Designer / Paris challenged us to believe in Magic - that is to testify to the mattifying and transformative power of the new MAT Magique - a sister of the famous Lucent Magique that I've reviewed here on the blog. As one user of L'Oreal Paris foundations for years, I wanted to try this new line and while you know that I'm a fan of highlighters - which Lucent has in it! - matte foundations are great bases indeed for oily skin types like me!

But also, I heard that BJ Pascual, a renowned protographer represented by At East | Jed Root, would be taking our portraits after trying the line so I was really excited about it, actually quite nervous because BJ is a real PRO! ;) I always see his work in most magazine covers and billboards, and I am a real fan of his work. It was really exciting doing this with him and the team (Thank you L'Oreal Paris and BJ!) despite a super busy first week of January, by creating a look that I've never explored so much in this blog - a matte one that is made possible by the formula made of natural sebum absorber - volcanic pertile. LOTD and review soon at this blog!

P.S. I didn't place so much VSCO filter in the photos so you can see initially how matte and nice the foundation finish is!